Decisions
by kbecks41319
Summary: Sometimes the decision is made for us even before we know we have a decision to make.


**A/N:** If I get a good response to this, I'll continue it.. If not, I'll just tuck it away and take it out to play when I get lonely. It's good writing therapy. Anyone that has a problem with the age difference, bite me. Alexis Castle and Spencer Reid (yes, from Criminal Minds) are just so adorable as a crack!ship. Okay.. As always, I do not own anything. I'm just borrowing them.

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><p>Alexis tapped her foot, staring blankly at the small contraption she held in her left hand. It was shaking. Or, no - that was her. Her whole body seemed to be shaking as she glanced briefly at her cell phone. It was time, she really needed to look - just look and get it over with. She couldn't, though.<p>

"Lex, sweetie, are you okay? You've been in there a while." The voice drifting through her bathroom door belonged to her step mom.. A voice she was grateful to hear.

Throwing open the door, she grabbed the other woman's arm and pulled her in before locking the door once again.

"Whoa there, crazy head, with the jerking and pulling. What is going.." Her words trailed off as her eyes found purchase on the thing in the younger girl's hand. "Lex?"

"I can't look. I thought I could.. I mean, it's just a stick. Granted, it's a stick I peed on and that's kind of gross in itself but other than that - it's just a stick." The redhead took a deep breath. "Oh god. It's a stick that's going to ruin everything."

"Deep breaths," Kate chuckled as she took the stick, flipping it over before her jaw popped open. "Oh my god, Lex!"

"It's positive? Oh.. It's positive." Her face paled considerably as she rested against the small sink, her hands gently laying atop her stomach that stuck out a little more than normal.

"Alexis, honey, breathe." The brunette reached behind the girl, grabbing a cup quickly and filling it with water. Holding it out for Lex, she waited patiently for her to take the drink and breathe.

"There's a ten year gap between us."

"Now you're just using our excuses. Get your own."

"Kate," Alexis whined.

"Seriously. Do you know how many times we said that to you when you two started dating? Or how many times your dad said he's said it when you were just friends? You don't get to twist our logic for your needs." Kate crossed her arms, staring the redhead down.

"Just for clarification, you've spent way too much time with dad." The girl pouted before sighing loudly. "We were careful, right? The pill, condoms. He's got work and college is a handful. W-we don't need this, we.. I don't even think he wants kids. He's seen so much.. I've read about it.. And.. O-oh no."

The shaky redhead pushed away from the sink and angled herself over the toilet, emptying her stomach's contents. She stayed bent over the porcelain throne, grunting in acknowledgement when Kate handed her a damp wash rag.

"Thanks," she muttered as she rested on the heels of her feet and wiped her mouth.

"I remember that feeling with Presley, I was not anyone's favorite person to be around - though your dad claims otherwise."

"Dad would walk through hell in gasoline soaked pants for you and still call it a pleasant adventure."

"Nice image," Kate smirked. "Now.. Are you going to tell him?"

"I should," Alexis sighed as she stood up and placed the rag in the sink. "He'll notice when he comes home after this case. And he deserves to know, right? I mean, this isn't just my decision.."

Bright blue eyes flickered towards the door where a shadow had appeared, worry filling them as they flickered towards her step mom and back to the door.

"Put that away," Kate instructed with a wave of the hand towards the pregnancy test. "I'll send these two to see the boys and then we can talk, okay?"

Alexis simply nodded as she stuck the test back in the box and shoved it under the sink; she wasn't quite sure she wanted to throw it away. Washing her hands, she studied herself in the mirror as she listened to the commotion outside her door. Her dad was protesting, as he always did when he didn't know what was going on, and Presley was starting to whine. At the quick mention of Uncle Javi's candy from her dad, the small toddler stopped fussing immediately and left without incident.

"Alexis," Kate called a few moments later as the door shut. "They're gone but your dad wants answers later."

Her small arms wrapped themselves around her body as she left the bathroom, going to sit next to the older woman on the couch. She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to make decisions. Alexis Castle - sweet, innocent Alexis Castle, wanted to crawl into her bed and hide away from the world.

**xxx0xxx**

How did this happen? They had been so careful; so very, very careful that they were the poster ad for carefulness. Or, she had thought so. But now she wasn't so sure. Her mind was playing catch up, trying to figure out when exactly this had happened - and how. She didn't want to be in the moment, as some people said, she didn't want to make decisions. She wanted to stay tucked away in the past and try to figure this whole mess out from there.

"Do you want me to call him?"

"No!" Her voice echoed through the room as she jumped up from her slouched position, shaking her head as she took in the very surprised detective beside her. Offering a weak smile, she grabbed a hoodie from the back of the couch and pulled it over her head. When she managed to push the sleeves up and cover her legs with it, she took in a deep breath before turning her attention to the woman beside her.

"Two months ago," she muttered finally - realization hitting her like a train.

"Two months ago?"

"He had been out of town working a case for a while and he had been held at gunpoint. He didn't want to tell me but.. Penelope, one of his friends from work, made him. Derek even called and made sure he told me, though that went to voice mail cause.." Her cheeks flamed red now, remembering who exactly she was talking to.

"Come on, Lex. We've talked about boys and sex before. Put your big girl pants on," Kate smirked as she poked the girl's knee.

"He came home and told me, a-and everything was just so damn suffocating. I always worry, when he leaves, if it will be the last time I see him and it just hit me that he almost didn't come home that time and I-I.." Her voice faltered again, glancing down at her hands to realize she'd been picking at the cuticles. "I just wanted to feel him, you know?"

"You had to reassure yourself that the man you love was still alive," Kate summarized for her. "I get that. How do you think Presley got here?"

"Ew, Kate. Gross," Alexis whined as she relaxed back into the cushions. "Knowing you and dad had sex is one thing, knowing a bit of the details behind why my baby sister is in this world.. Ew."

"It's all a part of life," the detective shrugged lazily.

"Not a part I want to hear about," she pouted in return as her phone beeped in her pants pocket. She pulled it out without a thought, biting her lip when she saw who it was from. "It's Spence. They've identified the subject but they haven't taken her into custody yet."

"So he might be home soon?"

"There's never any telling," Alexis sighed a bit sadly as she texted back quickly.

"Do you want me to stay with you until he does come home?"

"Thanks, but no. If I get used to you staying with me while he's gone.. I won't know what to do with myself when I move out there to Virginia." She shook her head, placing her phone on the couch beside her before lacing her fingers together over her knee.

"Your dad's still in denial about that," Kate snorted. "Thinks you'll change your mind by some miracle and stay here forever."

"New York will always be my home but I want to do this. I want to have a little bit of change and I think," she mumbled as she rested a hand on her stomach unconsciously. "This is a good time to do that."

"You'll keep it," Kate told her quietly.

"I know," Alexis replied as she turned her head away, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. "Even if he doesn't want it.. I-I won't be able to have an abortion. I've never liked the idea of them, and I know it's a woman's right.. But, it's not for me."

"He'll understand that," the brunette nodded. "Spencer is a good man, Lexi, even though he still looks about twenty-something."

"A thirty-one year old twenty-something, huh?"

"Exactly."

"Way too much time around dad, Kate."

"He's everywhere," the detective whispered dramatically as she looked around the room.

"That usually happens once you say I do and pop a baby out," Alexis smirked. "Or.. Sometimes, at least. You got lucky."

"He wants another one," Kate thought out loud. "A baby, not a marriage."

"I hope he doesn't want another marriage," the redhead laughed. "What do you think on the whole having another baby front?"

"I think it's something I'm open to," the other admitted with a shy smile. "But don't tell him that."

Alexis grinned as she started to rub her stomach without a thought, her mind drifting to a Texas hotel room where her boyfriend was currently staying at with his team. She wanted him to be there so badly with her right then, to be able to tell him and get this fear out of her chest. But that wasn't going to happen, at least - not tonight. Shaking her head to clear it, she forced her eyes to refocus on her step mom.

"Want to watch The Nanny? I'll call your dad and ask him to send Lanie over with some ice cream."

"And some sour gummy worms?"

"And some sour gummy worms," Kate laughed as she picked up her phone, standing up to walk into the kitchen while Alexis stretched across the couch and grabbed the remote.


End file.
